The Emotional Journey Of A Perfect Playlist

Photo via Touchstone Pictures
By Lauren Payne

“Make me a playlist of some good songs.”

This is the request I remember receiving from my boyfriend before he went away on a work trip earlier this year (pre-COVID). This was surprising, not just because the last time someone had asked me to make a playlist was in high school, but because we have fairly distinct tastes in music. But I remember being instantly on board with the idea. I even hoped it could be good opportunity to show him some of the music I’ve been really loving in the hopes of swaying him towards liking some of the tunes too.

Before this, the last time it had happened was deep in the mid-00s, when Panic! At The Disco had songs with excruciatingly long titles (“Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off”??) and everyone wanted to date Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy. Since then, any playlist I had created was generally for myself.

Now years later, this unexpected request became one of many playlist requests I’d receive over the next few weeks. Various friends began asking me to create playlists for them, for a variety of reasons, and it made me think; why is everyone asking me make playlists? Why aren’t they listening to the ready-made playlists on Spotify or better yet, making one for themselves?

According to Zoe Kravitz’s character in one of 2020’s best TV shows, High Fidelity, “a good compilation, like so many things in life, is hard to do” - which is a statement I wholeheartedly agree with. While there are so many guides to help you create the perfect playlist and discover new music, it’s usually a bit trickier than that.

In Emilia Petrarca’s story How to Make a Perfect Quarantine Playlist on The Cut, she offers some simple guidelines to follow when creating “the perfect playlist” and I’ve even come across other articles with literal step-by-step instructions about how to put together a playlist.

Although, in all my research nothing I came across really explained why suddenly, people in my life wanted a collection of songs specifically curated by me and not one that Spotify had compiled songs you already love using their algorithms or even playlists developed by experts.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist by Columbia Pictures.

After wracking my brain to no avail, I took my questioning to those who had actually asked for a playlist from me in the first place. The responses were instant, and all had a common thread that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. These answers were all rooted in our emotional connections.

“I think if anyone took the time to put a playlist together with you in mind it’s special,” one friend told me. “It’s like a big hug through the form of music and it’s also super fun to put together a playlist of all your favourite songs at the moment for a friend and then they get back to you saying they love a particular song.”

Another friend shared this sentiment, “[I] kind of see it as a way of showing you’re thinking of them, but also letting them into your world a bit. Kind of like, ‘here, this collection of songs makes me feel x, I hope they do the same for you.’”

Making a playlist for a friend not only makes them feel closer to you, it makes them feel like you’ve inadvertently given them a glimpse of your emotional world. You’re sharing the music that resonates with you and if a friend requests a playlist from you, they’re most likely assuming the music you love, will be music they could love also.

Then another friend brought something else into the mix, a mood. “I always feel moody when it rains…it’s all about getting in a mood, like a good playlist that gets you hyped up before going out with all ya friends.”

When I started to think about all the playlists I had begun making for people, I realised it was also way for me to connect with those in my life who I can’t physically catch up or spend time with - something many of us are dealing with this year. My boyfriend wanting me to make a playlist for him was not just about giving him something to listen to while he was away, but also so he could feel connected to me by listening to a collection of songs he knows I might be listening to at the same time. Like being together while we are apart.

Another friend of mine had asked for a playlist of late 90s and early 00s pop songs after spending a drunken night at my house. In this case, she wanted to get to know me more and find out why I loved jamming to ‘Day and Night’ by Billie Piper so much. It would give her a glimpse into my past and show her what music shaped me into the person she knows now.

One of my closest friends wanted a playlist after going through a rough time. After looking back at the compilation I made, I realised I had unconsciously created a playlist to help her through her rough patch which hopefully, would end with her feeling better about herself - it was my way of saying I loved her and I know she could pull through.

I’d never really considered anything like this when I made playlists for people. That’s when I looked at my own playlists too and realised I’d created little snapshots of my life on Spotify without even realising it.

Baby Driver by Sony Pictures.

My THROWBACK playlist represents all the music I fell in love with between 2008 and 2018. An entire decade of my life, encased in 15hours and 46 minutes of music. I travelled to Europe in 2018 with two of my closest friends and in anticipation for the trip, I created a playlist called EUROPE (how original!) with a series of songs that felt quintessentially European. I still listen to it when I want to be transported back to that sweet summer trip. Also, when I’m missing someone really badly, I actually go to their Spotify profile and listen to their public playlists to feel closer to them which, during a pandemic, has become a regular occurrence.

A truly perfect playlist can make us feel so much. They can help you have a good cry when you’re feeling vulnerable, let out your anger when you feel like you’re about to explode and can be the perfect soundtrack to a sunny day.

Add in a playlist personally curated for you by a close friend and you’re set up for an emotional journey that, as my friend said, is like a big hug through music. It’s the modern mixtape, a way of telling someone how you feel about them through carefully selected songs.

Whether it’s dance tunes or love ballads, curating the perfect playlist is more than just playing a collection of songs one after the other, it’s a way to connect to those who opt in. In a time when we’re more socially disconnected than ever, the joy of participating in either creating or consuming a curated playlist can do more for our relationships than Spotify could have ever imagined.